Feedback on Wasp boy
This is what I did after my first gig, watched the video and noted down where people laughted, with a number 1 to 10. Then I did something with numbers and devided it by something and came up with this. That is incredible useful.
Intro
(20/18) = 1.1
Cheer if you’re here to see some great comedy
Cheer if you’re here to see some average comedy
Cheer if you here to see if I’m stealing your material 2
Great, On with the Hilarity!
Wasp boy
(330 / 136.5) = 2.4
When I was six my mom won the Women Own’s ‘I have the Worst Son the world award’.
When I was a kid in summer my parent put together these wasp traps, which consisted of an old jam jar filled with water. So the wasps would fly into jar and drown. So as a bored child with not much to play with I decided to collect up all the wasps, dry them off, cut them up, and super glue them together to make SUPER WASP. 4
A hundred odd dead wasps dicepted and stuck together in a huge ball. 3
I must of have some of Frankenstein monster concept going on. Where I would attach it too some kind gothic device and then after lighting struck, I would have my very own loyal, if not slightly messed up pokamon type pet, 3 and not at all a large bunch of really fucked off, confused wasps. 3
And together side by side we would fight crime or ghosts or dinosaurs or what ever I was into that week. 5
It would be a great conversation piece as we carried on life together,
‘Hi I’m Ed’
‘I fight crime.’
‘This is WaspRa.’ 6
‘I made him.’
‘You can stroke him if you want, Go on he doesn’t bite.’
‘See he stings’ 5
But all I actually did with it was to take it too school hit the other kids in the playground, until a dinner lady confiscated it.
Now for that I won an all-inclusive holiday to Blackpool pleasure beach OWWW, all the whores and whisky a 6 year old could ever dream of. 4
Peter Andrew
(100 / 72.6) = 1.3
Yeats believed that society ability to feel and understand is limited by it’s language. That why I think society should acknowledge the Stella work done by the likes of Peter Andrew with his invention of the word insania, 2 dam it he’s on par with Shakespeare. Imagine the advances that it can bring about just in the field of cognitive psychology alone.
“Doctor, doctor My son believe he can relaunch his pity failure of a pop career through a reality TV.”
“I’m sorry madam your son has insania, well have to err laminate him, Yes laminate him, I 1 think it best for everyone.”
But for all his book smarts he still couldn’t hang on to Jordan could he, no, he was too Keen, Women don’t like men who are to Keen, Women like men who are a aloof, that why I stay home and masturbate. 7
Sex
( 240 / 80 ) = 3
Sex, Yes,
Men are worried about size of their penis, but they shouldn’t be, Women still buy these cute little ‘Pink Rabbit’ vibrator, what we should be threaten by is their vibrating speed 2, those thing can vibrate 300 times a second 2, how can we compete with that? I can do about three,2 and that’s on a really cold day.2
Meaning that thing a hundred times more of a man than me. But can it fight crime. 5
What use would the ‘Pink Rabbit’ be if the city was in the strangle hold of a ghost dinosaurs.
“So Pink Rabbit your sexual prowess is impressive, but is it a match for my Death Ray!”
Then I’d be all, like “EAT WASP, dino boy.” 2 And the ladies will flock to me, 3 like moths to a flame. But I will shun them; Yes, I will make my own women, 3 a better woman, out women I have drowned in a pool full of ‘okay’ magazines. 3
Ender
(10 / 2) = 5
I best go now. 1