Iraq rant
I was against the war in Iraq, it was so slow.
I mean 9/11 was great, loads of explosions, people throwing them out of windows, soot covered firemen, bloody fantastic stuff. All from about 100 different camera angles.
But Iraq was crap, It was so slow and the enemy weren’t very scary, they were just a bunch of underfeed housewives covered in explosives, no one going to believe that.
What they should have done is got the guy with the dodgy eye and hook, and used him; he was evil henchmen gold dust. Sadam Hussein could have done some Evil experiments on him so he grew to a hundred feet tall, and stomped around, destroying things. And Sadam could sit on his shoulder going ‘Crush, destroy, my pretty.’
And what happened to the weapons of mass destructions, they left them out. They should have kept them in; the whole thing does make that much sense without them.
What they should had done is had Blair as a lone wolf Storm into Sadam Secret Head Quarters, after fighting his way through a hundred Sadam Clone robots, then he rushes into the main room with a huge evil looking black and red missile, As the big red LCD timer had almost got to 45 minutes, and beads of sweat run down his forehead he make a rash choice and pulls out the correct wire and the timer stops.
But before he can relax a huge hook smashes through the roof and the ceiling caves in and there is The hook man giant and Sadam, going ‘Damm you blair you have been thorn in my side for too long, Kill him’
Then the camera pans to the side and Bush appears from the sidelines and hurls one of the improvised housewives straight into he month of the hook man giant. And his head explodes, brain goes everywhere as the body slumps to the floor, Sadam would fall and be impaled on the top of his own weapon of mass destruction, pure poetic justice.
Bush and Blair embraces in a passionate kiss as the credit role ‘look into my eyes and you see ….’ That how to do a war. Then we’d all know who to vote for.