Wasp Boy (first draft)
Hello, Right, Cheer if you want to have fun,
Thank god that makes this soooo much easier.
Cheer if you’re here looking to invest millions in new talent!
Okay
Cheer if you a comedian here because you’ve heard rumours about me stealing your material.
Great, On with the Hilarity!
I love to masturbate, bla bla bla
Wasp boy
My greatest achieve in life is something that have no absolutely no memory of at all. Years ago my mom won the highly converted Women Own’s ‘I have the Worst Son the world award’.
When I was a kid in summer my parent put together these wasp traps, which consisted of an old jam jar filled with water. So the wasps would fly into jar and drown. So as a bored child with not much to play with I decided to collect up all the wasps, dry them off, cut them up, and super glue them together to make SUPER WASP.
A hundred odd dead wasps dicepted and stuck together in a huge ball.
I must of have some of Frankenstein monster concept going on. Where I would attach it too some kind gothic device and then after lighting struck, I would have my very own loyal, if not slightly messed up pokamon type pet, and not at all a large bunch of really fucked off, confused wasps.
And together side by side we would fight crime or ghosts or dinosaurs or what ever I was into that week. Or my arch nemesis crime ghost dinosaur.
But all I actually did with it was to take it too school hit the other kids in the playground, until a dinner lady confiscated it.
Now for that I won an all-inclusive holiday to Blackpool pleasure beach, all the whores and whisky a 6 year old could ever dream of.
Tuna
General survival technique.
If you’re a tuna.
Don’t get friendly with the dolphins
Peter Andrew
Yeats believed that society ability to feel and understand is limited by it’s language. That why I think society should acknowledge the Stella work done by the likes of Peter Andrew with his invention of the word insania, dam it he’s on par with Shakespeare. Imagine the advances that it can bring about just in the field of cognitive psychology alone. “Doctor, doctor My son believe he can relaunch his pity failure of a pop career through a reality TV.” “I’m sorry madam your son has insania, well have to err laminate him, Yes laminate him together with big brother cast we shall call him Realilor, together we shall fight Crime and dinosaurs ”. But for all his book smart he still couldn’t hang on to Jordan could he, no, he was too Keen, Women like men who are a aloof that why I stay home a masturbate.
Sex
Men are worried about size of their penis, but they shouldn’t be I mean women still buy these cute little pink vibrator, what we should be worried about is their vibrating speed, those thing can vibrate 300 times a second, I can do about three, and that’s on a really cold day.
Meaning that thing a hundred times more of a man than me. But can it fight crime.
What use would it be if the city was in the strangle hold of a ghost dinosaurs. So Pink Rabbit your sexual prowess is impressive, but is it a match for my Death Ray!
Then I’d be all , like stand back, EAT WASP, dino boy.
Goodbye
Anyway I’ll leave you with, with the mike stand, the other comedians might need it.