Wasp boy revisted
Hello
Check me out.
I was a strange kid.
One summer my parent, put together these wasp traps, which consisted of an old jam jar filled with water. Wasps would fly into jar and drown. So as a bored child with not much to play with I decided to collect up all the wasps, dry them off, cut them up, and super glue them together to make SUPER WASP.
A hundred odd dead wasps dicepted and stuck together in a huge ball.
I had Frankenstein monster thing going on. Where I would attach it to one of dads golf club and then after lighting struck, It would come to life and I would have my very own loyal pokamon type pet, and not at all a large bunch of really fucked off wasps.
And together side by side we would fight crime or dinosaurs.
But all I actually did with it was to take it too school hit the other kids in the playground, until a dinner lady confiscated it.
Consequently I was badly bullied at school:
And you know what my mum did to comfort me,
she sent the story to women own and won the ‘I have the worst son in the WORLD award’
Mummy, Mummy, all the kids at school think I’m a Moron. No Son, Look, every one in WORLD think you’re a moron.
PAUSE
I’ve just start to notice this all the people who bullied me at school lives aren’t going that well. It almost like the skills they specialised in; random acts of violence, spitting and claiming to have slept with other people mother, aren’t in great demand in the real world.
They weren’t exactly being head hunted. “Yes is that mister Wayne Price AKA Crunch we have a management opening in our ‘claming to have slept with people mother’ division, it has a very competitive package we hoping you might be interested in.”
King of the playground, car park attendant.
King of the playground, Safeway shelving coordinator
Spotty kid with glasses, Head of Microsoft
King of the playground, security guard at Allied carpets.
Tyrannical leader to guardian of coloured carpet tiles.
And you know even if one of these people do by some freak chance actually get hold of the money it will only be a matter of time before their screwed out of it.
Yer I won the lottery, but I blew it all on ring tones … and scratch cards.
PAUSE
Yes Text messaging is something I’d never really got the hang of.
At university I had just split up with my girlfriend and I was a bit upset.
So I texted Dave for some reassurance. I text him:
“Hay Dave, I’ve just split up with my girlfriend, do you want to come down the pub.”.
However due to predictive text it came out as:
“Gay Date, I’ve just split up with my girlfriend, do you want to come down the pub.”
He wasn’t practically reassuring.
That’s all I got thanks.